In our days couples often wait longer with building a family. Both women and men focus on their careers, and when time comes to finally settle down, it might not always be so easy to have a child. While the way of the world has changed, our biologic workings have not. When the mind is finally set on having a child and the body is not responding in kind, many emotional issues arise and it is important to learn good coping techniques and not to give in to despair/
Here are 10 self-care tips for couples coping with infertility:
- Accepting Anger and Frustration
It is good to understand that it is normal to feel anger, jealousy and frustration, and simply accept this as part of the trial you are going through. Having a counselor or mental health professional to talk to will help when dealing with feelings of anger and frustration. It is good to understand that it is normal to feel anger, jealousy and frustration, and simply accept this as part of the trial you are going through. Having a counselor or mental health professional to talk to will help when dealing with feelings of anger and frustration.
- Focus on the Moment
It can be hard to be constantly reminded of infertility by friends having babies or by simply walking by a playground. Focus on the moment and look to the good points of life.
- Fuel Hope
There is hope, and people do have babies even after waiting for a very long time. This is something that couples coping with infertility should be reminded of. It can help to learn of other success stories to strengthen self-confidence and hope.
- Normal Responses to Infertility
Seeking help for dealing with infertility is not only a matter of the possible physical treatment. It is also important to discuss with a professional what sort of responses to infertility that are normal. It can be a great help for coping with infertility to have a professional to turn to when emotional reactions to the hurt and loss are strong and somewhat out of control.
- Share with People in the same Situation
It is important to share, but it can be hard for a couple to constantly talk about infertility, and to ease the pressure it helps to be in touch with other people in the same situation.
- Accepting Anger and Frustration
It is good to understand that it is normal to feel anger, jealousy and frustration, and simply accept this as part of the trial you are going through. Having a coach or professional to talk to will help when dealing with feelings of anger and frustration.
- Express what you need
It is also helpful to express what you want from the people around you. If you need their support, you can’t count on them understanding this unless you say something. If you feel that it will be best to stay out of family gatherings, you need to explain this to your closest family members for them to understand that you won’t always show up to the family events.
- Pregnant Friends
If you have friends that are trying to conceive, you can consider how you want them to let you know when they have an announcement to make. You might prefer to get to know by email before everyone else to be able to face the news with a good reaction in public.
- Avoiding Isolation
While refraining from joining too many family parties with big bellies and toddlers might be a way to practice self-care, it is important to avoid isolation. Isolation might become another hurt of the infertility, so a healthy balance should be strived for.
- Answering Awkward Questions
Prepare yourself for baby questions from people that don’t know you well enough to know that you are struggling with infertility. If you have a quick and neutral answer, you won’t suffer pain from having to think about the question too much, and there won’t be awkward moments.
Copyright © 2010 Alina Steinberg Baugh, MS, LMFT | Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist 1499 Bayshore Highway, #210 | Burlingame, CA 94010 | 650.539.9662
